To Have Loved and Lost
by Starsabre
Summary: I noticed that Starsabre herself never had a love life. I decided to fix this.
1. Unwelcome News

**Unwelcome News**

_Tikka-tappa, tikka-tappa, tikka-tappa..._

Frenzy ran down the hallway, his clawed feet clicking against the floor. Scores of mech-sized doors passed by him, but they weren't the ones he waneted. Finally, near the end of the hallway, he reached one door that was slightly different than the others; it had more locks. Stopping in front of it, the miniscule 'bot raised himself up on his tip-toes and squeaked,

"Intercom." A green light flashed high above his head. "Starsabre! Hey, Starsabre!"

"Frenzy, do you know what time it is?" She didn't sound happy, and Frenzy was grateful for the door between the two of them.

"Uh, yeah. But I-"

"And can you tell me what most 'bots are doing at this time?"

"Er, recharging. But really-"

"Exactly. So you had better hope that I find what you have to say as important as you do."

Frenzy gulped. "M-Megatron wants you to come to the control room now."

"Slag." The green light went off, and Frenzy scuttled back down the hallway as fast as his tiny legs could carry him.

Starsabre's door opened and she emerged from within her quarters, rubbing her optics. Noticing that Frenzy was already long gone, she chuckled and walked down to the control room.

* * *

Soundwave sat at his usual spot in the control room, his fingers flying over the old-fashioned keyboard he liked to use. Frenzy jumped onto the desk next to the keyboard and looked from the wallscreen to Soundwave. The screen was blank. This could only mean one thing: for the first time in over 25 stellar cycles, Soundwave was nervous.

Behind Soundwave, on the bridge, Megatron was pacing. Starsabre was taking her sweet time getting to the control room, most likely it was payback for waking her up so early.

"If that femme doesn't get here in about two seconds..." Megatron growled. Soundwave twitched slightly at the sound of his voice, but continued typing nothing. Frenzy was wondering if Soundwave had knocked a wire loose when the door flew open.

"You called, Daddy?" She grinned toothily.

Soundwave stopped typing and seemed to stiffen considerably. "Frenzy, out."

"What?"

"Out."

"...Fine." The tiny 'bot jumped down from the desk and disappeared out the door.

Megatron scowled at his daughter. "I hope for your sake that you fell into a black hole by accident."

"This is a large compound, father. Especially when one's legs aren't as long as yours." She frowned, then grinned again. "So why did you want to talk to me?"

Soundwave stood up and turned to face Starsabre. He was moving even less than usual, and she got the feeling she wasn't going to like Megatron's answer. She took an impulsive step back. Megatron's smile grew as her's shrank, adding to her growing sense of horror.

"I called you here to tell you that you are to be wed to Soundwave."

"You're - you're...kidding, right?!"

Megatron simply stared at him, his expression spoke for itself. In desperation, Starsabre looked around the near-empty room, her optics coming to rest on Soundwave. The sight of him standing there, emotionless, filled her with rage.

"No!" Megatron's optic narrowed.

"You'll do as I say, girl."

_"No! _There's no way in the PIT that I would ever marry your... your... YOUR FRAGGING PET!" She stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Starsabre, get back here!" Megatron followed her, grumbling as he went.

The room was silent, except for the clacking of Soundwave's keyboard.

* * *

"Starsabre!" Megatron caught hold of Starsabre's wrist and she whirled aroud, teeth bared.

"Let _go_ of me!" She tried to pull her arm away from him, but his grip was too strong. "Leave me alone! I HATE YOU!" On either side of the hallway, mechs poked their heads out of their rooms, then, seeing who it was, quietly retreated back into their rooms and closed the doors.

"Listen." Megatron gave Starsabre's arm a jerk to emphasize how important it was that she listen to him. "Listen. I know you don't 'love him,' and you've never had a conversation with him in your life, but it's not like I just woke up this morning and said to myself, 'hey, I think I'll make my daughter marry Soundwave.' No. This has been planned since your protoforming."

"Primus, that makes him, what, sixty-five stellar cycles old now? And how come you never told me about this before?!"

"He's not as old as you think, only twenty-five stellar cycles old. And I chose to tell you today, because, as of today, you are eighteen stellar cycles old."

"Oh... Oh yeah. Well, thanks for ruining my birthday!" She pulled away from her father and took off down the hallway.

"Hmph." Megatron turned around and walked back to the control room.

Entering the room, he was greeted by the sight of his least favorite son, Starscream.

"Megatron, there you are. Soundwave told me to tell you this: he says the Autobots are on the move near the base."

"What? Soundwave told _you _this?"

It was common knowledge among the Decepticons that Soundwave trusted and liked Starscream even less than Megatron himself, if that was even possible. The fact that he had told Starscream sensitive information was very strange. Of course, it could have been a plot to get Starscream in trouble, but if it was, it was a sloppy attempt, and sloppiness was not something usually attributed to Soundwave.

"Alright. We'll keep an eye on them."


	2. Crisis and Discovery

**Crisis and Discovery**

Soundwave stared into his cube of high-grade, as if the fluid would form itself into words and tell him something. A mech walked into the empty mess hall, saw Soundwave, and quietly backed out again. Soundwave sighed. _Am I really that repulsive?_ True, he wasn't usually in the mess hall; he usually took his meals in his quarters, and he almost never talked, unless giving orders or answering questions, and, well, he was telepathic and he had his own little army and he knew more than Megatron himself about most of the Decepticons… _Oh, Primus. I'm a freak. _He wasn't really thirsty anymore, but he drained his cube of high-grade nevertheless.

* * *

Three cubes of high-grade later, Soundwave was no longer the only mech in the mess hall. Apparently, they had been congregating near the entrance, and, when they decided Soundwave wasn't coming out any time soon, they all entered at once. Soundwave had his own table to himself. He gave a slight hiccup. Drinking wasn't really his thing; despite his size he was a real lightweight. He knew he ought to stop, his head was really fuzzy and he needed to think… But then, why does one drink if only to forget? He shook his head, trying to focus. There was something important, he had to remember… Was it some kind of announcement? He checked his sensors, just to be safe. It was something to do with the perimeter. He scanned around the base, gradually fanning out and sweeping wider. Hey… there were those Autobots; he was supposed to keep an optic on them. Yep, that was all six of them. He turned back to his drink, but stopped. There was something wrong, but he didn't know what. Autobots. Six of them… six… He double checked. Yes, there were six energy signatures, but only five were Autobots. _Starsabre!_ Soundwave sobered up immediately and took off out of the mess hall. He could hear the conversation picking up as he left.

* * *

"Primus, what a slaghead." Starsabre kicked at the ground, dislodging a small boulder. "He thinks he can… Just because I'm his daughter… Why would I even want to-"

_Snap. _Starsabre stopped, straightening up. Someone was out there. She drew her null rifle, silently charging it. Another snap and the sound of a weapon firing, she dodged just in time to avoid getting shot in the head. She grinned. _Autobots!_ Her optics, normally a light shade of pink, had darkened to blood red. Honing in on the Autobots' energy signatures, she fired into the brush. They fired back, she jumped aside and transformed, taking off toward the nearest open space. She knew there were four of them. She transformed and landed behind a large rock, knowing that the Autobots wouldn't leave their cover unless they thought they had the upper servo. A charge shot past her hiding place. Good, they were in the open now.

Leaping out from behind the boulder, Starsabre opened fire on the Autobots. She hit one and then another. _Two down, two to go._ A third Autobot had been shot in the arm, but he was still fighting. _Wait a tick… these are rookies!_ Realizing that something was wrong, she crouched to spring into the air, but a shot to the back from the fifth Autobot, the one she hadn't seen, kept her on the ground.

Starsabre was still online, but barely. She was aware she had been tricked, but she didn't care. She was so tired, all of a sudden, and the air was warm, like blankets. A flash of blue above her head brought her back slightly. Who was that? Thundercracker? It was! Her brother was fighting… but why? Never mind, she was so tired, and the air was warm, like blankets…

* * *

Soft, white fluffy blankets, the kind they have in the med bay… wait… these _were_ blankets, and… Starsabre opened her optics and the room came into focus. White walls, white beds. Med bay. She sighed, and someone stirred next to her. It was a handsome mech she'd never seen before, but he seemed familiar. He was sitting in a chair by her bed, so he _was_ her guest, but he didn't seem to be looking at her… in fact, his optics didn't seem to be focused on anything at all. She decided to try to talk to him.

"Um, hello?"

Startled, the mech jumped and turned his face toward her. She realized with a jolt that he was blind.

"So, I see you've come online." His face was blank, but his voice was oddly musical, made even stranger by the fact that he was a large Decepticon mech. She wondered why she had never seen him around the base before now.

"Who…?"

"You know me." The mech's expression did not change, but he had sadness in his voice. Starsabre studied him, the antennae on each side of his head, broad shoulders, dark blue paint job… Oh, Primus.

"Y-you!" She spluttered. She wanted to be angry at him, to yell at him to get out, but she was too afraid. Soundwave didn't think like everyone else. His thoughts were untainted by emotion, pure, cold logic. How would he react if she yelled at him? She settled for an attempt at small talk. "I didn't know you had a, uh, had a f-… could take off your… uh…"

"You didn't know I had a face. That's perfectly understandable." His voice had lost most of its musical quality. "Now that you are awake, you must be hungry. I will bring you some energon and inform Megatron of your condition." Soundwave stood up stiffly and his faceplate and visor slid smoothly into place. Starsabre shivered. He was so menacing. She'd never been this close to him, and she was terrified. He spun round and walked out the door.

* * *

Five cycles later, Soundwave returned, this time with Megatron. Starsabre sat up and accepted the tray of energon from Soundwave, who remained standing. Megatron sat in the chair by her bed. Starsabre was watching, waiting for him to say something, but he just stared.

"Eat," he said after a while. Gratefully, she wolfed down her energon. Soundwave was right, she was starving.

"So," Megatron began once she was near finished, "how do you feel?"

"Um, good." She took another swig of energon. "Well, besides the fact that my back feels like it's on fire." She frowned and shifted, earning a fresh burst of pain from her wound. "Ow. If it hadn't been for Thundercracker-"

"Thundercracker?" Megatron cocked an optic ridge at her, and she could sense Soundwave stand up straighter. "Starsabre, that was Soundwave who saved you."

"What?" She looked impulsively at Soundwave. He had his face turned toward her, and even though he couldn't see her, she knew he was compensating: monitoring her vitals and listening, always listening. Maybe he had even hacked into her CPU and was reading her thoughts. On the off chance that he was, she thought, _I want to talk to you in private._

"Hopefully…" Megatron's voice brought her back to the conversation. She noticed that he had stood up and was heading to the door, Soundwave behind him. "Hopefully this episode has taught you to control your temper." And with that, he walked out the door. Soundwave closed it behind Megatron and walked back to her bed, but did not sit down.

"You wanted to speak with me?"

"Um, I had a question to ask you… have a seat, you're making me nervous." Obediently, the mech pulled up a chair and sat down, sliding back his visor and faceplate as he did so. "So… why… How did you know I was in trouble? And why did you save my life?"

I was running a routine checkup of the perimeter via radar… I then picked up the energy signals of five Autobots in close proximity to you. I rushed to your aid."

"Yes, but why? You didn't stop to tell anyone, you fought by yourself. You _never _do that."

"I fought them myself because there was no time to gather aid, and… I-" Soundwave made an odd clicking noise. He paused, his face still perfectly blank, and pulled air through his ventilation. Starsabre wondered what could be causing him to overheat. He began again. "I-" _click._ "… Seven stellar cycles ago, on my protoform-day, Megatron informed me of a previous agreement between my creators and him. When you were protoformed, my creators, who were among the biggest supporters of Megatron, saw their chance to marry the family into 'royalty,' if you will. My brother was their favorite. Blind since my protoforming, I was a useless cripple worth nothing to them. So they offered my brother to Megatron, to serve him as his assistant, on the condition that a marriage would be arranged between him and Megatron's new daughter. I remember Megatron saying, 'no. Not this one. That one, however…' he gestured to the corner where I had been sitting, 'I would be willing to train that one.'

"At first my creators said no. They argued that I was useless, and Megatron argued to the contrary. A stellar cycle later, when my brother defected and joined the Autobots, they finally agreed, but only because I was their only remaining son.

"When Megatron told me this, he ordered me not to tell you. So I tried to get to know you as best as I could without arousing your suspicion. Surely you noticed that I was always near you in battle?"

Starsabre nodded. "I thought my father had just ordered you to protect me, though."

"That was the plan. But yesterday, I nearly failed to protect you. When I realized the danger you were in, I nearly ran over several mechs while trying to get to you. I… p-panicked, because I-" _click._ For the first time, annoyance crossed his handsome features. "I… l-love you." He slumped against the arm of his chair, exhausted from the effort of speaking.

Starsabre's jaw dropped. When she asked why he had saved her, she had expected an answer along the lines of "because you are Megatron's daughter." A proclamation of love was the last thing she expected from Soundwave.

He really was handsome without all that metal covering his face.

The door burst open and the seeker triplets entered.

"Hey, little sis!" Thundercracker pushed Skywarp aside to talk to Starsabre. "How ya feelin'?"

"Fine."

"Really?" Skywarp asked. He had regained his position next to Starsabre. "That's good. When do you think you'll be out of here? Starscream's no good at racing."

"That's because you cheat!" Starscream yelled.

"How can you cheat at racing?"

Thundercracker snorted. "One word: teleportation."

"I do not!"

"Oh, yes you do!" The volume was quickly rising in the small room, and Starsabre wanted nothing more than the relative peace and quiet she had had before.

"Hey, take your argument elsewhere. I'm tired and y'all're giving me a headache. Out!"

"Aw, come on, Starry!" Skywarp opened his optics wide and stuck out his bottom lip.

"Please, that trick stopped working eight stellar cycles ago. Shoo!" The mechs filed out silently, but she could hear them resume their argument in full force after the door had closed.

She lay back down on her recharge bed, and then remembered that Soundwave was still in the room. Propping herself up on one arm, she started to ask him if he was going to return to his quarters, but realized that he was already recharging. Smiling, she lay back down once again, and quickly sank into sleep.


	3. I Don't Really Have a Choice

**I Don't Really Have a Choice**

(Author's Note: Things start getting a little heated up in this chapter. If that's not your thing, cover your eyes. :p)

Starsabre woke up, but was afraid to turn on her optics. Half of her wanted the events of the past two days to have been just a dream, but another part of her wanted to get to know Soundwave. Maybe it was the mystery surrounding him, but there was always the chance it could be genuine attraction. She felt a servo touch her arm, wrenching her out of her thoughts, and looked up.

"Sorry." Soundwave was standing, apparently about to leave.

"Do you want to come to breakfast with me?" The words were out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying.

"Pardon?" Soundwave looked shocked.

"I said, do you want to come to breakfast with me?"

"If that's an order, I suppose I-"

"It's not an order. It's a question. Make up your own mind for once."

His mouth opened and closed a couple of times. She hoped she hadn't caused him to blow a fuse or something like that.

"Yes, I suppose I would like to accompany you."

"Good." Starsabre smiled and slid out of bed, grabbing ahold of his servo. He twitched, but did not pull away. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you... You really can't see anything at all?"

"With the help of my visor, I can see basic shapes. No color. At least, that's what they tell me I'm seeing."

"Oh." They began walking, in an awkward silence, to the mess hall. In the hallway, mechs gave then a wide berth, trying to put as much distance between themselves and Soundwave as possible. Once, they passed Megatron, and even though he didn't look at them, Starsabre thought she could see the ghost of a smirk cross his face (much to her dismay).

The mess hall was crowded and loud, filled with Decepticon mechs talking and eating. The arrival of Soundwave into any given room was guaranteed to lower that room's volume by half, but the sight of Soundwave and Starsabre walking in together, holding servos, nearly silenced the mess hall. After a few seconds' stunned silence, during which Starsabre blushed a bright red, the conversation started up again, though not as loud as it had been before, and in conspiratorial tones. The two collected their energon, Starsabre painfully aware of all the optics on her.

"Hey, femmebot!"

Her grip tightened on Soundwave's servo as she turned to face the mech who'd spoken.

"What?" The single drawn-out syllable hissed like acid, and the mech immediately knew he'd made a huge mistake.

"Um... uh... Wouldn't you rather have a... boyfriend that can... uhh... talk...?" The volume of his voice dropped untill it became a whisper, and he dropped back down into his seat without waiting for an answer. A few of his buddies slapped him on the back or jeered at him. Starsabre and Soundwave walked to a table in the back of the mess hall and sat down, sipping at their energon. After a while, Starscream stood up and made his way over to his sister. Starsabre groaned and looked up at his advancing form. This wasn't going to end well.

"What is it?"

"You could have chosen from any of the mechs in this facility, or even any Decepticon _anywhere,_ and you chose this slagheap? What is your problem?!"

"I don't have a problem, but it sure seems like you do. It's none of your business who I pick as a potential mate!"

"I'm your older brother! It _is _my business to make sure my idiot sister doesn't make some dumb desicion she's going to regret later!"

Soundwave stood up suddenly, causing Starscream to look up and take an impulsive step back.

"You may insult me to your heart's content, but I will not let you insult Starsabre."

"Soundwave, really, you don't have to... He's just my brother, he wouldn't hurt me... Please, sit back down, I can handle this..."

Starscream puffed himself up as large as he could, but it didn't do much. "She is my sister, and I can speak to her any way I please. And it is my _humble_ opinion that she is being a dumba-"

There was the sound of metal striking metal as Soundwave punched Starscream in the face, knocking him to the ground.

"Soundwave!" Starsabre leapt to her feet and grabbed ahold of Soundwave's arm. "Don't!" Soundwave turned to face her, then sat back down. Starscream scuttled out of the mess hall, trying to look small and holding a servo to the side of his face. Starsabre felt her face flushing again as she finished her energon. The room was completely silent. Everyone was staring at her. She felt like she wanted to cry.

"Are you finished?" Soundwave asked, emotionless once again. Starsabre nodded and stood up, ignoring everyone and trying to hold onto the last scraps of her dignity. Without a word, she walked, head up, to the door, Soundwave behind her. The minute they were outside, he made a move as if to grab her servo, but thought better of it. "Starsabre..." She ignored him and continued walking "Starsabre, please talk to me."

She turned, a mixture of emotions on her face and tears running from her optics. "Why should I? What if I just want to be alone?"

"If you truly want this relationship to work, we need to communicate. After all, it's not like I can read your mind or anything." His visor and mask retracted, and he attempted a smile.

Starsabre's optics widened. "You... you just made a joke..." Even though she was tall, for a femme, the top of her helm only came up to his mouth as she wrapped her arms around him. Soundwave tried to return the hug, but it was awkward and stiff. "Come with me." Starsabre pulled away, holding his servo. She ran down the hallway, forcing Soundwave into a trot to keep up.

"Where are we going?" Soundwave asked.

"You'll find out soon," Starsabre replied. She stopped abruptly in front of a door, causing Soundwave to nearly run into her.

"What're we-"

"Shh!" She placed her palm on the panel by the door, and the multiple locks sprang open. "In here." She led him into the room, and the door closed behind them with a whoosh. "Ok. Now we can talk." The two of them sat down in a bed in the middle of the room.

"So, what're we doing?"

"I'm going to teach you a few things-"

Soundwave shot off the bed like his aft had been set on fire.

Starsabre giggled. "No, not that. Just the easy stuff for now, like hugging and stuff."

"Oh. I, uh... sorry." His pale features flushed a delicate shade of pink.

Starsabre stood up also, and grabbed ahold of both of Soundwave's servos. "Ok. So, you understand the basic idea of hugging, right?"

"I'm not sure I undestand the question."

"Well, 'bots hug others to make them feel loved, and sometimes protected. Hugs are even a form of greeting among more social 'bots. Got it? Here we go." She wrapped her arms around his midsection, and he did the same, but it was still rigid and weird. "Relax. No one's watching us." This did the trick, and Starsabre pulled herself closer to him, resting her head against his chest. She thought it was funny, and possibly a little cute, that a mech seven years older than her could be so awkward about hugs. Until she realized that it was neither cute nor funny, it was actually quite sad. But before she could begin to pity him, she remembered that, as a grown mech, Soundwave had the same desires as any other mech. Or at least, he should.

She pulled away from him. "Why did you jump up when I said I'd teach you a few things?"

"Well, I thought you meant... bonding."

"...I gathered. But why does that bother you?"

"I... you're young, and there're a bunch of other mechs... Besides, you've only just met me."

"I'm not young, I'm at the traditional age for picking a mate. Every single "other mech" in this base is an aftshaft, and it doesn't matter that we've only just met, we really like each other. Plus, it's not like we have a choice." Starsabre was aware of the fact that her spark had just begun to pulse very quickly, and she thought of how much she wanted to be on that bed with him... But she pushed the thought away. Only, why not? They were as good as mates, anyway. Why not seal the deal, make it official?

She trailed a finger down the front of his spark chamber, pausing where the armor seperated, and looking up at his face. His blind optics were trained on her, and the expression he wore was almost a challenge. She slid her fingers into the gap and pulled the armor off, tossing it away. Soundwave's servos were on her waist, and now they travelled up her sides, stopping only to remove her armor as well. He pulled her close and they kissed, moving towards her bed. They removed the last of each other's armor, and then they were on the bed, spark to spark and still kissing. Soundwave somehow knew exactly how and where to stroke her to make her shiver and moan in pleasure.

Starsabre decided it was one of the best desicions she'd ever made.

* * *

They were still in recharge when Starscream came knocking.

"Hey, Starsabre," he said, pounding on her door. "Starsabre, I know you're in there. Come on, let me in, I need to talk to you."

Groggily, Starsabre powered up her optics and called back. "Go away."

"What? You're not still angry about what happened at breakfast, are you? Look, I'm sorry, but I still need to talk to you. If you don't let me in, I'll let myself in."

Starsabre knew he wasn't bluffing. With a sigh, she rolled out from under the still-sleeping Soundwave's arm and redressed herself.

"What's taking so long?"

"I'm coming..." She shuffled to the door and opened it halfway. "What is it?"

"I... what, were you asleep or something?"

"Um... yeah."

"Why were you sleeping this late in the day?"

"It doesn't matter. Why are you here?"

"Oh, no you don't. You tell me why you were sleeping, first." Starscream frowned at Starsabre. Starsabre closed the door a fraction.

"It's none of your business." Starscream tried to look past her into the room, but she blocked his view.

"What are you hiding in there?"

Starsabre said nothing, but narrowed her optics.

Realization dawned on Starscream's face and he spat, "it's him, isn't it? I can't believe you would... Right after he embarrassed me in front of the whole base... and you don't even care!"

"Just because you hate him doesn't mean I have to also! And... you don't understand."

"I understand all I need to. I don't want to talk to you ever again." He stomped away, leaving Starsabre staring after him.

"F-fine! I never enjoyed our conversations anyway!" She slammed the door shut, then slumped against it, crying. She couldn't believe that the brother she had looked up to her whole life could just leave and hate her forever. He would come back, wouldn't he?

"Starsabre? What's wrong?"

She looked up at Soundwave, tears in her optics. "N-nothing. It's nothing."

"Is it my fault?"

"No!" She said, a little too quickly. "No. No, it's not your fault. I just... I need to take a walk."

Starsabre stepped outside and paused for a minute, composing herself and wiping the tears from her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she walked down the hallway. She knew Starscream had probably gone to his room to stew in his anger, so she took a detour around his hallway. Eventually she found herself in front of an empty conference room. Glancing around the hallway to make sure no one had followed her, he darted inside. The door locked itself with a click. Starsabre moved to the back of the room and sat down, her back against the wall. She wasn't sad anymore. She felt strangely empty, like the events of the past few days had drained her of all emotion. _Maybe this is how Soundwave feels. _She suppressed a wave of panic and the tears that came with it. "No... no more crying today. Besides, he's different than I thought..." She sighed and stood up. _I really should talk to Starscream._

Starsabre had only taken one step out of the room when Skywarp came crashing into her.

"Starsabre! Oh, mech, you're not going to believe it! We found energon!"

Starsabre gasped, completely forgetting about Starscream. "What? Here?!"

"No, no, it's on some other planet. But it's not too far! Can you believe it?!"

"Oh Primus, this is great!"

"Well, Megatron's calling a meeting now. He'll be pretty steamed if you don't show up."

"Yeah, I'm coming." She ran after Skywarp, who, in his excitement, couldn't help teleporting every few steps. Finally, they arrived at the main conference room, and the two of them entered. Starsabre looked around, but didn't see Starscream anywhere. Soundwave was, as usual, standing by Megatron's side.

"Decepticons!" Megatron's voice silenced the excited whispers in the room. "Not long ago, our sensors picked up on the existence of energon on a planet not far from here." The mechs began once again to talk among themselves, but Megatron continued talking. "If we stop to plan our next move, the Autobots may well catch onto us. Therefore, it has been decided that we take immediate action. Not all mechs will be coming at once, we need to keep a low profile. So I'm only taking the best: Soundwave, Frenzy, Scorpinok, Starscream, Barricade, Blackout, Bonecrusher, and... you there," he pointed at a couple of other mechs, "you're all coming with me. The rest of you, wait at the base until I send orders. Those who are coming, be outside and ready in five minutes."

The mechs all filed out of the room, most with dissappointment evident on their faces. Starsabre stayed behind until most of the mechs were gone, then walked up to Megatron.

"I'm going too."

"Oh, no you're not. This mission could get dangerous."

"So what? I've gone on dangerous missions before. I'll be an asset. I can pick up on Autobot signals long before anyone else can. And I was built for fighting. You know that."

The two stared each other down.

"Fine. But you're to stay with Soundwave _the whole time,_ got it?"

Reaizing that she had won, Starsabre grinned. "Thank you, Daddy."

The two of them walked outside, where the other mechs were waiting.

((Hah! That was a monster to type. And it took me about a month to write... Been having a bit of a dry spell, but I've managed to get the ol' creative juices flowing again! Review!!!))


	4. Battle on Mars

**Battle on Mars**

Starsabre reveled in the sight of space. It was so empty, yet it contained everything ever created. She was glad they hadn't used a space bridge. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been off that asteroid the Decepticons called home.

They had been flying for a while, and they were almost there. Just one more planet to go… And then they would have energon… Starsabre resisted the urge to do a barrel roll. She was on a mission, it was no time to be messing around.

Soundwave glanced around at the other mechs. He was used to them keeping their distance, but Starscream was as far from him as he could possibly get. Soundwave expected him to want to fly with his sister… He was probably still sulking about breakfast.

"_Soundwave!"_ Starsabre's voice rang clear through their bond.

"_What is it?" _He replied.

"_AutobotsI A lot of them… And they're headed straight for us! I think we outnumber them, though."_

"_Ok. I'll inform Megatron." _He switched communication to com-link. _"Lord Megatron, your daughter has detected Autobots, headed our way."_

"_Slag, how did they find us? We'll be landing on the next planet, I won't be having a space battle."_

* * *

Starsabre crunched the red soil of the dead planet under her feet. The Autobots would be there soon, if they were any good at tracking. Starsabre sighed and scraped at the soil some more. She hoped that their destination was more alive than this.

There was a flash of light above their heads and the Decepticons all looked up; the Autobots were entering the atmosphere. Without being told, they all powered up their weapons, expecting the Autobots to attack first. They waited a few more tense minutes, silent. And still nothing happened. Finally, Megatron began giving orders.

"Starscream and Blackout, circle around them and fire from the air. Scorpinok, attack them from below. The rest of us will come in a wave. You three, go!"

Scorpinok burrowed his way into the hard ground, and the other two mechs transformed and took off in opposite directions. The second wave waited a while longer before they transformed and headed off towards the Autobots. Starsabre stayed in the air and got one of the smaller Autobots in her sights… And fired away. The small Autobot squealed and attempted to fire back, but he was too busy dancing around the shots fired by Starsabre. She giggled and circled around him, causing him to turn as well. Eventually he lost his balance and was shot in the leg. Starsabre sighed. Game over, time to finish this. Just as she fired, and unexpected shot to the wing sent her spiraling wildly. She transformed halfway to the ground and landed with a crash. She sprang back up as quickly as she could, ignoring the pain in her wing. The small Autobot was close. She attempted once more to dispatch him, but the Autobot who had shot her down tackled her, and the two began rolling down a slope. They slammed into a cliff and separated. Starsabre punched the yellow mech in the face and he stumbled back. The mech recovered quickly, however, and she knew immediately that she would be no match for him.

"_Soundwave!"_

His reply was immediate. _"On my way!" _She ducked just as the mech swiped at her head. She kicked at his legs and he stumbled again, but didn't do much else.

"Slag…" The Autobot grinned and shot her once in the midsection, causing her to crash into the cliff face. She slumped over, energon pouring from her wounds.

"Starsabre!" Soundwave caught the Autobot by surprise and punched him, hard, square in the face. He was sent flying back and he landed, sprawled, on his back. Panic crossed his face as Soundwave advanced, intent on beating the slag out of him until he offlined. He fired wildly at Soundwave, but he wasn't even close. The shots buried themselves into the sheer rock wall, causing the whole side of the cliff to crumble and slide, right on top of Starsabre. A pain shot through Soundwave's spark, worse than everything he'd ever felt before. It was gone just as soon as it had come, and it left him feeling emptier than ever before.

The yellow Autobot turned to try to crawl away, but Soundwave grabbed him by the throat and lifted him to optic level.

"You… you killed her…" His grip was like a vice. The young Autobot struggled to break free, but to no avail. He felt his voice box cracking under the grip of the huge mech. The pain and stress of it was too much, and the Autobot passed out. Soundwave tossed his body aside like a rag doll. "She's dead… she's dead, oh Primus she's dead. Why?! What kind of a cruel trick is this?!" He stumbled over to where she had been sitting and began to pull the rocks away.

"Soundwave, what are you doing?" Megatron appeared beside the large blue mech, wiping the last remnants of energon off of his armor. Soundwave didn't answer, but continued to mutter incoherently and remove rocks from the pile. "Soundwave!" Megatron reached out and turned Soundwave to face him, but his legs gave out and he sat down hard on the ground. Megatron could now see tears streaming profusely from under his visor. "Soundwave, what's wrong with you? Look at me. Answer me!…Where is Starsabre?"

"Starsabre? Noo, no, nooo… dead. Dead, no…" His voice faded back into mutters and Megatron turned away. His most beloved daughter, dead? No. Now was not the time to think about it.

"Decepticons, let us continue on, to Earth!"

They blasted once more into space, leaving Starsabre's body behind.

((Sorry this chapter's so short. I couldn't make it any longer without ruining the flow I've got going.))


	5. New Recruit

**Author's Note: **I do not own the Transformers, nor do I own Blackfire. Blackfire is owned by Megatron's Blackfire. Check out her stories while you wait for mine to update. I do own Mist, though. :p

**New Recruit**

It was dark. Very dark. The femme brought her servo up to her face, but still couldn't see it. Odd. She was supposed to meet someone here, she knew that much. But who was it again? And where were they? She couldn't remember. She began walking, just to have something to do. The farther she went, the darker it became, until it was so dark, that it was light in and of itself. Everything was a different shade of dark… It hurt her optics and she was getting a headache. Not knowing what else to do, she sat down and cried. After she was done crying, she fell asleep, and dreamed dreams of mechs she didn't know, and places she'd never been to.

* * *

She woke up feeling refreshed, as if she'd slept for years. She yawned and stretched, and looked around, her optics adjusting to her new dark world. That over there… was that a building? That hadn't been there before, had it? She stood up and walked over to it.

The door opened smoothly, and she stepped inside. She seemed to be in some sort of foyer. It was large and spacious, and gave off an air of grandeur. Shadows fled at the edges of her vision. She didn't like it in there. It felt like she was being watched.

"H-hello?" Her voice broke the silence, and it shattered visibly around her; multi-hued and darkly shimmering, the pieces fell to the floor. The last of the shards dissolved into the air, returning the light and color. "What is wrong with this place?" She couldn't remember very well, but she was fairly sure this kind of stuff didn't usually happen. Taking a last look around the strange building, she stepped back outside.

She could see now that she stood on an empty, flat, never-ending plane. There was nothing on it except for herself, the building, and a mech who hadn't been there before. He was rather large, with blue and grey coloration and gold accent around his face. He seemed quite regal. She wasn't sure how to address him. Perhaps this building was his home, and she had been trespassing?

"Um, hello?" She left it at that, and hoped the mech would understand that she didn't have a clue what was going on.

"Greetings, my child."

The femme stared at the mech, trying to comprehend what he had just said. "Are… Are you my father?"

"You could say that."

"Oh. Well then, who am I?"

"My dear, you must decide that for yourself."

"You mean I'm not anyone? Yet?" This mech wasn't answering any of her questions, he was giving her more. Talking to him was kind of frustrating.

"No. You were someone, but it is your choice whether or not you want to be that person again."

"…what?"

The mech said nothing more, but smiled and held out his arms to her. After a second's thought, she accepted the embrace. The mech dissolved into light, his grip growing tighter and tighter, until it was uncomfortable. The light was beginning to fade away again, until it was gone entirely. She squirmed, trying to break free.

"Let me go… Please, I can't breathe!" She struggled harder and finally managed to break away. She stumbled out onto hard ground, and her legs promptly gave way. She wasn't tired, but she felt stiff and weak, as if she hadn't moved in years. She looked around for the mech. But he was gone.

It wasn't long before she saw something moving in the distance. It was small and boxy, with wheels and an antenna. Mounted on the antenna was some sort of primitive optic device. She got shakily to her feet and walked up behind it. Her shadow fell over it.

"Are you some sort of bug?" She wondered. It was smaller up close than she thought it would be.

"Remember, dear, curiosity killed the petro-cat. I wouldn't let that thing see you, if I were you."

"Oh!" She quickly stepped on the tiny 'bot, then looked around wildly for the strange mech. "Who's there? Where are you?"

"No one's nearby except for you. In fact, you're the only person on this whole planet. Might I suggest that you leave? Check your scanners. If you need any help, don't hesitate to ask."

"Ok… thanks, I guess…" She did as she was told, searching for the nearest energy signatures. The only ones within range were on the next planet, closer to this solar system's star. They all seemed to be concentrated on one area on the planet, except for two which were on a different continent entirely. With a sigh, she transformed and headed for the majority of the energy signatures.

* * *

The femme entered the atmosphere of the blue planet and converted to protoform mode. She slammed into the soil and skidded for a few yards before finally coming to a halt. She transformed and climbed out of the trench she had created. She looked around. Directly in front of her was a large flat space covered with small buildings and machines that appeared to be capable of flight. Behind her was what seemed to be a forest, but with strange, small green trees. She scanned for signals again, and found that the nearest were a few miles to the west. She transformed into her now-conspicuous Cybertronian jet mode.

"Hang on a minute. How much do you know about this planet?"

"Umm… nothing." She transformed back and sat down.

"Well, why not scan for signals originating from this planet? Analyze them, you'll learn a lot."

"Alright." She powered her optics down and began scanning. She was blown away by the amount of activity on the planet, she didn't know where to begin. There was one signal, however, that covered nearly the entire globe. She decided to start with that. It turned out to be a massive database called the World-Wide Web. She downloaded and analyzed all the information that she needed. The dominant species on this planet was _Homo sapiens._ They also seemed to be the only sentient species native to this planet. She learned their languages, learned about their cultures, the wildlife, different countries, ongoing wars, and a lot of random crap. These humans were an odd species. She finished and stood up, powering her optics back on.

"Ok. _Now _can I leave?"

"Common sense, girl! Find a disguise. Remember, you don't want the humans to know what you really are."

"Fine, fine, fine." She walked toward the small buildings and jets as quietly as she could. Her optics moved down the rows of jets. Osprey, no… Hornet, nah… MiG-15… Was this place some kind of museum? And then she saw it. F-15 Eagle. Yes. Yes, that was it. She quickly scanned it and took off, testing out her new alt. mode. It handled well.

* * *

The sun was rising just as she encountered other Transformers. There were three mechs and one femme. The mechs seemed to be fighting while the femme watched. She wondered what they could possibly be fighting about.

"If you'll take a closer look at their signals, you'll see that they each have one of two designations."

"Autobot and Decepticon?"

"Yes. These two factions have been at war with each other for centuries. Be wary of both. Neither are as truthful as they may seem. Choose your side carefully, or not at all. This is all the help I can give you, now that you are with others of your own kind."

"Oh! Oh no, don't go! I still need your help!"

"I won't ever truly leave you."

"Aah… What?" No reply came. "What do I do now?" She began flying in circles, watching the 'bots below her and wondering what to do.

The femme on the ground looked up, hearing jet engines. There was a jet circling around them. It made no attempt to fire on them, and the black femme didn't recognize the coloration. She scanned it and detected Cybertronian technology, but there was no designation or actual energy signal. She fired at it to see what it would do. It seemed to notice the shot at the last minute, and did a barrel roll to the side. The jet turned to face the femme and bore down on her, transforming and landing sloppily a few yards from her.

"You…" The blue and grey femme seemed out of breath and slightly confused. "Why did you shoot at me?"

"I didn't know whether or not you were a Cybertronian. Who are you?"

"No one… I guess."

"Oh, please. I don't want to hear any of that _Lone Ranger_ slag. Tell me your name, or I'll blow you a new mouth to tell me with."

The grey femme gasped and spluttered, "no, I'm not trying to be dramatic, I just seriously don't remember who I am… If I ever was anyone. I woke up on another planet and flew here, and then I got shot at by you. Who are you, anyway?"

"I'm Blackfire. You'd better remember the name."

"I do, actually." She thought for a second. "I remember you, but you don't remember me? I must've been an Autobot, then." Blackfire gave her a look, and the grey femme continued quickly. "Um, but he said that it was my choice whether or not I wanted to be that person again."

"He?"

"I don't know who 'he' is."

"…right. Well, do you want to be that same person?"

"I don't know. It's hard to decide whether or not I want to be who I was if I don't even remember that person."

"Well, I'll be here when you figure it out."

"Ok." They both settled down and watched the mechs, who were still going at it. One mech picked up another and tossed him into a reservoir while the third mech shot at him. The first mech, a seeker by the looks of it, fired back at the yellow Autobot, and the grey femme found herself willing the shots to hit their target. The Autobot ran at the seeker to tackle him, but the seeker ducked and the Autobot flew over him. The Autobot sprang up, now facing the femmes, and started as if he'd seen a ghost. Seeming to forget about the seeker, he transformed and drove off. The Autobot in the reservoir finally managed to pull himself out of the water and, seeing that his partner was gone, he transformed and took off as well. The seeker sauntered over to the femmes, a smirk on his face.

"What'd you do, say boo?"

Blackfire grinned back. "I didn't do anything. He was staring at little miss amnesia over here."

"Who?" The mech stared at "Miss Amnesia" as if she had just materialized out of thin air. "Who is this?"

"She doesn't know."

"Really?" He squinted at her, examining her. "I've never seen you before. You sure she's not an Autobot?"

"No signature. Not even rogue."

"Ah. Well, we've gotta meet up with the others." He turned to the femme. "Come with us, or don't– It's your choice." The two Decepticons transformed and took off, with the femme close behind. Blackfire edged up close to her.

"If you're gonna stay with us, we gotta call you something."

"Oh. Oh, right. Um, give me a minute. Who's that mech in front of us?"

"That's Starscream. He's been trying to take control of the Decepticons ever since Megatron disappeared."

"Has he?"

"Somewhat. The Decepticons don't hold a lot of respect for him, one in particular. Soundwave's in space, though, so he doesn't really know or care."

"Soundwave?"

"He's the communications officer. He oversees most of the missions, even though he's in space. Usually, he pulls strings and turns things to his advantage, but… He hasn't been doing much lately."

They flew on in silence for a few more seconds before the femme said, "I think I'll stay with you guys."

"Wonderful. What'll you be called?"

"…Mist."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, because I feel like I have a fog in my head, separating me from who I used to be… And I dunno, grey and blue are kind of misty colors."

"Ok. I'll take care of things, then." Blackfire flew up next to Starscream and talked with him for a while. The two then separated and continued flying.

"_Designation?" _A voice came out of nowhere, and for a second, Mist thought it was the mech who had helped her earlier. But she quickly realized that the voices were nothing alike. This new voice was monotone, and genuinely creepy.

"W-what?"

"_State your designation."_

"Mist. Who is this?"

"_Designation: Soundwave. Do you pledge your loyalty to the Decepticons?"_

"Y-yes…"

"_Reconfiguring signal." _She felt a faint tingling sensation in her spark area, and it began to pulse a different signal. She was now officially a Decepticon.

The three of them had now reached the outskirts of the city, a grubby place with abandoned buildings everywhere. They landed atop of one of such buildings and entered through a large hole in the roof. There were a few other mechs waiting inside. A large black mech swaggered up to Mist and looked her up and down.

"Who're you?"

"M-Mist…" She looked back at him, but avoided his optics.

"Mist, huh?" A second mech, this one black and white, walked up and examined her. She was beginning to feel very uncomfortable. Blackfire, seeming to notice her distress, grabbed Mist by the arm and led her away.

"Don't be alone in here with any of these mechs. They're scumbags, every one of them."

"What are their names?"

"Blackout, he just got back from Iraq, and Barricade. That is Bonecrusher, and Soundwave, as you know, is in space, orbiting the planet. Look, here comes Starscream."

"Mist, I need a word with you. Blackfire, wait here." Blackfire gave him a _yeah, right_ look and followed along anyway. Starscream led Mist over to a corner of the building. He motioned for her to sit on a pile of rubble, and then sat down on another. "I'm not sure I buy this amnesia slag. How do I know you're not an Autobot spy?"

"Um. Blackfire said I didn't have a signal."

"So? There are such things as signal dampeners." Starscream peered at her. "I think I'll give you a test. Let's see… what's something an Autobot would never do?" There was a scuffling noise outside and a shout, and then the sounds of small feet running away. "I've got it! You must go outside and kill a human!"

**Author's note: **Sorry for the cliffhanger you guys. I don't have the next chapter done yet, so… Yeah. You've gotta wait to see what happens next.


End file.
